“Do not defer any of your personal power – own it!”~ Lisa Kitter

 

 

In 1994 I attended a success seminar, hosted by a very wealthy and successful businessman. He made a few recommendations of things one could do, in the pursuit, of ones own personal success. He suggested becoming an avid self help, leadership and personal development reader. This gentleman also recommended that the person seeking success, should read biographies on successful, accomplished people. He made a bold statement about the advantages of avoiding the media, television and to only read the first page or two of a newspaper. His advice, was that mainstream media, was controlled, manipulated and that the information was designed to keep the populous, as a whole, broken, distrusting and frightened of life.

 

I often wonder, how many people sitting in that audience, over two thousand of us, actually applied any or all of this businessman’s advice? My desire for success and prosperity was very high. The man speaking up on the stage had nicer clothes than me, a beautiful home (s) which he had showcased up on a huge movie screen for the audience because he had wanted to “inspire” us. He had fast cars, luxurious hand-tailored suits and glowing, wrinkle-free skin. In a nutshell, he appeared to have the prosperous, happy lifestyle that is reserved exclusively, for the rich and famous.

 

I desired, with all my might, to have what he had, so I began applying all of the “success principles” he doled out to us, like candy that day! Firstly, the television went and when my pre-teen son screamed bloody murder about the missing television set, I repeated what I had heard at the seminar, “The electronic income reducer” was only  sabotaging my efforts to achieve more success out of life… it had to go! Already an avid reader, I began reading more books, faster! I careened through each self help “how to” guide as though my very life depended on it.

 

I picked up books from the library at rapid, break-necked speed and took copious notes which I kept in a three ring binder by my bedside so that it would be readily available for me to jot down any cash induced nuggets of information I might glean from my latest read.

 

Perhaps, some would say, that I took the successful gentleman’s advice too “literally” and they would probably be correct but I so very much desired a different, better life; If he had told me to sell all of my furniture, quit my job and use what little money I had to start a business of my own…I would have done it! Oh wait, he did tell me to do all of those things and I did and guess what…life got much worse before it got better!

 

Thank goodness for my self help, successful-people-biographies because they kept me going, when all I wanted to do was bury my head, hide my shame and embarrassment for literally burning all of my bridges and diving head first into the frightening, unfamiliar entrepreneur world!  This getting rich stuff was becoming more difficult with each passing day. My friends and family thought I was crazy and I was beginning to think I was too. Then IT happened, my daily affirmations became more believable to me. Unexpected gifts began coming my way and eventually, a little cash trickled in. My business started to take off; the more I believed in myself, the more my confidence soared and the further other people began believing in me too!

 

Eureka – Success would eventually be mine! But then something very strange occurred; people within my industry would point at me and call me “a success story.” I had the beautiful homes, luxury cars and fat bank account however I didn’t really “feel” successful. I mean come on, I still hadn’t achieved that clear-skinned-perfect complexion yet, my teeth were a bit crooked, and I ran three to five miles daily, just to stay lean and slim. I was married to a nice man but life was certainly not all “bliss.” Success was supposed to mean “no more worries,” it was, in my mind, supposed to make me feel differently, I was surely going to become euphoric, and to feel a bit more like “the cats meow.”

 

No, this isn’t what “success” was supposed to feel like; after all, I still had troubles, albeit they weren’t necessarily the same type of troubles as I’d had when I was flat broke but they were still troubles. My imaginings had lead me to believe, once I had achieved an annual income of five, six and seven figures…my life would then be perfect! Maybe it was time for me to go back to reading some of my self improvement books. Did everybody feel differently once they had achieved a certain level of accomplishment, or, like me, did they stare into the mirror and think, “I’m the exact same person that I’ve always been,” except now people treat me differently but I know, in so many ways, I am the same?

 

Success didn’t transform me or should I say, it didn’t change the way I felt about me?  Ah ha, so this is one of the secrets of “feeling good about you,” no matter what occurs, you still have to feel good about you! I mean, I loved myself, I admired myself but I still felt slightly flawed and not quite “worthy” of my new-found abundance. The realization set in for me then; when you read quotes such as, “Success is an inside job,” they really do me “inside of self.” The world may or may not eventually look at you and smile for your accomplishments so you must smile and feel good about what you have accomplished yourself, “within self.” It was shortly after this realization set in for me that I decided to begin life coaching and sharing my experiences with others. Perhaps by sharing my experiences, I would be able to assist others over the internal roadblocks that we, so often, set up for ourselves.

 

We pursue an illusive “feeling of success” but for many, it never comes. I once coached a female heart surgeon, she is considered to be brilliant and top-rated in her field and yet, she confided in me, she often times, feels a fraud. She doesn’t consider herself to be brilliant, smart or a gifted physician, she still perceives herself to be “not smart enough.” Her greatest fear is in being “found out,” she worries that others will discover that she isn’t as bright or exceptional as they think she is and she dreads the day the detection takes place. Even though, the truth is, this female surgeon truly is rated as one of the best of the best in America and she saves thousands of lives every year! Success didn’t alter her insecurities, “within self,” she felt broken, short on talents and lived with the self-proclaimed certainty that it was only a matter of time, before others saw her this way too.

No one can give you a feeling of self love, and for many of us, it doesn’t come naturally so we must commit to finding ways to reinforce the good feelings when we have them.

 

• Surround yourself with supportive people whom empower and uplift you
• Keep a daily or weekly journal and document your personal/business progress
• Read back through your journal and use it as a reminder of just how far you have come
• Continue to develop yourself and utilize tools, people and methods you have found to be empowering to you.
• Accept that Mom, Dad and people from your past meant well but they may have been wrong about you and your so-called short comings
• Compliment yourself daily, and keep those positive affirmations close at hand
• Take pride in yourself, practice good personal grooming and self care
• Read the books, attend the workshops on improving YOU
• When you make a mistake, learn from it and move on, don’t continue to beat yourself up
• Seek coaching and ongoing counseling when required
• Avoid alcohol and recreational drugs if you have challenges with them
• Take care to maintain a healthy body weight, exercise daily and feel better
• Focus on accomplishing your goals and not on being perfect
• When you can improve you, do it. If there is something about you that can’t be changed, learn to accept it
• Practice giving yourself permission to shine and say yes whenever possible

 

The moral of the story is this; always work on “self.” Chase the dreams, develop the business and become a raging, prosperous, success story for others to admire and strive to duplicate but never, ever, stop working on you! Read the books, attend the workshops, the seminars and do the personal coaching, counseling, whatever it takes, in order for you to accomplish a sense of “self love.” Peace of mind only comes from within.

 

Stay tuned, Wednesday I have a very special video to share with you. I look forward to sharing with you again very soon.

 

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Until we meet again – I believe in you!