Eureka – Success would eventually be mine! But then something very strange occurred; people within my industry would point at me and call me “a success story.” I had the beautiful homes, luxury cars and fat bank account however I didn’t really “feel” successful. I mean come on, I still hadn’t achieved that clear-skinned-perfect complexion yet, my teeth were a bit crooked, and I ran three to five miles daily, just to stay lean and slim. I was in a relationship with a nice man but life was certainly not all “bliss.” Success was supposed to mean “no more worries,” it was, in my mind, supposed to make me feel differently, I was surely going to become euphoric, and to feel a bit more like “the cats meow.” No, this isn’t what “success” was supposed to feel like; after all, I still had troubles, albeit they weren’t necessarily the same type of troubles as I’d had when I was flat broke but they were still troubles. My imaginings had lead me to believe, once I had achieved an annual income of five, six and seven figures…my life would then be perfect! Maybe it was time for me to go back to reading some of my self improvement books. Did everybody feel differently once they had achieved a certain level of accomplishment, or like me, did they stare into the mirror and think, “I’m the exact same person that I’ve always been,” “except now people treat me differently but I know, in so many ways, I am still the same, exact person?”
Success didn’t transform me or should I say, it didn’t change the way I felt about me. Ah ha, so this is one of the secrets of “feeling good about you,” no matter what occurs, you still have to feel good about you! I mean, I loved myself, I admired myself but I still felt slightly flawed and not quite “worthy” of my new-found abundance. The realization set in for me then; when you read quotes such as, “Success is an inside job,” they really do me “inside of self.” The world may or may not eventually look at you and smile for your accomplishments so you must smile and feel good about what you have accomplished yourself, “within self.” It was shortly after this realization set in for me that I decided to begin life coaching and sharing my experiences with others. Perhaps by sharing my experiences, I would be able to assist others over the internal roadblocks that we, so often, set up for ourselves.
We pursue an illusive “feeling of success” but for many, it never comes. I once was a business coach to a top female heart surgeon, she is considered to be brilliant and top-rated in her field and yet, she confided in me, she often times, feels a fraud. She doesn’t consider herself to be brilliant, smart or a gifted physician, she still perceives herself to be “not smart enough.” Her greatest fear is in being “found out,” she worries that others will discover that she isn’t as bright or exceptional as they think she is and she dreads the day the detection takes place. Even though, the truth is, this female surgeon truly is rated as one of the best of the best in America and she saves thousands of lives every year! Success didn’t alter her insecurities, “within self,” she felt broken, short on talents and lived with the self-proclaimed certainty that it was only a matter of time, before others saw her this way too.
No one can give you a feeling of self love, and for many of us, it doesn’t come naturally so we must commit to finding ways to reinforce the good feelings when we have them.
- Surround yourself with supportive people whom empower and uplift you
- Keep a daily or weekly journal and document your personal/business progress
- Read back through your journal and use it as a reminder of just how far you have come
- Continue to develop yourself and utilize tools, people and methods you have found to be empowering to you.
- Accept that Mom, Dad and people from your past meant well but they may have been wrong about you and your so-called short comings
- Compliment yourself daily, and keep those positive affirmations close at hand
- Take pride in yourself, practice good personal grooming and self care
- Read the books, attend the workshops on improving YOU
- When you make a mistake, learn from it and move on, don’t continue to beat yourself up
- Seek coaching and ongoing counseling when required
- Avoid alcohol and recreational drugs if you have challenges with them
- Take care to maintain a healthy body weight, exercise daily and feel better
- Focus on accomplishing your goals and not on being perfect
- When you can improve you, do it. If there is something about you that can’t be changed, learn to accept it
- Practice giving yourself permission to shine and say yes whenever possible
The moral of the story is this; always work on “self.” Chase the dreams, develop the business and become a raging, prosperous, success story for others to admire and strive to duplicate but never, ever, stop working on you! Read the books, attend the workshops, the seminars and do the personal coaching, counseling, whatever it takes, in order for you to accomplish a sense of “self love.”
Peace of mind only comes from within and success truly is in “the eyes of the beholder!”
In the early nineteen-ninety’s, I attended a success seminar, hosted by a very wealthy and successful businessman. He made a few recommendations of things one could do, in the pursuit, of ones own personal success. He suggested becoming an avid self help, leadership and personal development reader. This gentleman also recommended that the person seeking success, should read biographies on successful, accomplished people. He made a bold statement about the advantages of avoiding the media, television and to only read the first page or two of a newspaper. His advice was that mainstream media, was controlled and manipulated and that the information was designed to keep the populous, as a whole, broken, distrusting and frightened of life.
I often wonder, how many people sitting in that audience, over two thousand of us, actually applied any or all of this businessman’s advice? My desire for success and prosperity was very high. The man speaking up on the stage had nicer clothes than me, a beautiful home (s) which he had showcased up on a huge movie screen for the audience because he had wanted to “inspire” us. He had fast cars, luxurious, hand-tailored suits and glowing, wrinkle-free skin. In a nutshell, he appeared to have the prosperous, happy lifestyle that is reserved exclusively for the rich and famous. I desired, with all my might, to have what he had, so I began applying all of the “success principles” he doled out to us, like candy that day! Firstly, the television went out the door and when my pre-teen son screamed bloody murder about the missing television set, I repeated what I had heard at the seminar, “The electronic income reducer” was only sabotaging my efforts to achieve more success out of life… it had to go! Already an avid reader, I began reading more books, faster! I careened through each self help “how to” guide as though my very life depended on it. I picked up books from the library at rapid, break-necked speed and took copious notes which I kept in a three ring binder by my bedside so that it would be readily available for me to jot down any cash induced nuggets of information, I might glean from my latest read.
Perhaps, some would say, that I took the successful gentleman’s advice too “literally” and they would probably be correct but I so very much desired a different, better life; If he had told me to sell all of my furniture, quit my job and use what little money I had to start a business of my own…I would have done it! Oh wait, he did tell me to do all of those things and I did and guess what…life got much worse before it got better!
Thank goodness for my self help, successful-people-biographies because they kept me going, when all I wanted to do was bury my head, hide my shame and embarrassment for literally burning all of my bridges and diving head first into the frightening, unfamiliar entrepreneur world! This getting rich stuff was becoming more difficult with each passing day. My friends and family thought I was crazy and I was beginning to think I was too. Then IT happened, my daily affirmations became more believable to me. Unexpected gifts began coming my way and eventually, a little cash trickled in. My business started to take off; the more I believed in myself, the more my confidence soared and the more other people began believing in me too!
Follow your heart’s desires, always! Make the decision now to live your life purposefully, no matter who or what obstacles come onto your pathway. When you decide to live a purpose driven life…magic happens!
As I reflect on the past few years, I know that I was on purpose for my life, every step of the way. There were challenges (big ones) and rewards too. I learned and grew from the challenges, while expressing gratitude for the rewards in my life. Expressing gratitude causes good things to multiply.
Gratitude is the key to ongoing abundance, divine assistance and continued success. Take a moment to make a gratitude list right now! Think of all you have to be grateful for and ask that each blessing multiply because of your loving appreciation and acceptance of it.
Are you in business for yourself? Express gratitude for this wonderful opportunity. Do you have love in your life? Rejoice in the ability to love and be loved in return. Are you living in a free Country? God bless that freedom daily. Heal old hurts and wounds by thanking your Creator for guiding you through, to this present moment here, now, today!
Remember to give thanks to you for your courage, persistence and on-going faith in the future and in your dreams!
I appreciate each of you and I look forward to serving you to the best of my ability, through out 2012 and beyond!
Charisma is a difficult quality to define. Someone with charisma has the ability to draw people to them, through their actions, body language and verbal communication skills. Charisma is about having good energy and about having confidence, not arrogance.
People with charisma are easy to pick out of a crowd because they’re the ones with lots of people around them. They’re usually in the center of the crowd! When you have charisma, the world is your happy playground.
Charismatic people have the ability to allow people to like them. They’re very comfortable with themselves and feel great wearing their own skin and in sharing themselves with the world. Most home based business endeavors are a “people building business” and when you develop charisma, people will flock to be associated with you.
Arthur Burger once said, “Character is something that is caught, not taught.” One way to catch or build up your character is by placing yourself in an environment that will assist you to develop desirable thoughts, motives and good habits.
I can’t think of a better environment than self-employment for developing outstanding character. What a tremendous opportunity for every individual involved in this industry to literally place themselves in a position to develop desirable thoughts.
From the moment a new business owner signs on the dotted line and walks out of a meeting or presentation with new products to use and retail, they are literally beginning a character-building journey.
Desirable thoughts, motives and habits are the “name of the game” to your home business success!
The way of abundance is simple; you either are or you aren’t abundant. You’re either heading for lack or heading for abundance. There is no middle of the road on this subject. It’s truly black or white. The person with a “prosperity consciousness” and the person with a “poverty consciousness” are not walking on the same “mental” street, so to speak.
I used to say, “I never win anything.” Once I became aware of what my words were drawing to me I began to say, “I am a winner, I always win everything I go for!” Guess what gang, within one week of changing my thoughts, I suddenly won a $50.00 gift certificate for groceries, at a time when I desperately required money to buy food for my son, Mother and I.
That same week I won a turkey after entering a free drawing! Was this an accident? No way! I had applied for several credit cards during this same period of time, and I had been turned down by all of them. However, by miracle of miracles (or my thoughts) I received a credit card within a month of all of my other abundant surprises! I had $5.00 to my name when that credit card arrived! Needless to say I was so happy and I had to admit, that no matter what my future held I was going to make a conscious decision to draw only good things to myself by managing my mind!
If this set of examples doesn’t at least begin to encourage you that you do have complete control over your current situation, I don’t know what will.
Master your mind and you master your world!
We’ve all heard it said, “Time is your most valo09uable asset” and I doubt any of us would disagree with that statement because it just rings true. There are 365 days in each year and 24 hours in every single day; why is it that some people are extremely productive with the time all of us have allotted to us and others simply squander the minutes away as if there is a never ending supply? And at the risk of pointing out the obvious, once squandered, the time is never returned to us, it’s gone forever!
First and foremost, it’s important to have a healthy respect for our time and personal value because without “self respect,” it would be easy to be taken advantage of and spend time doing things that is not in our own best interest. When you value you, it shows in your personal and business habits and others follow your example; business associates and friends/family will respect you as well.
In the twelve years that I’ve been offering personal and business coaching, the number one time waster for the majority of my clients is procrastination. Let’s face it, procrastination is a stall tactic and it seems to rear its ugly head more times than not, especially for the home-based business owner.
The most efficient method for increasing productivity and reducing procrastination is to have a goal or daily “to do” list and a set, reasonable time limit in which to accomplish the chore. Do the most important task first and better yet, do the things you really don’t want to do first, so that once they’re done, you can cross them off of the list. Believe me, it feels so exhilarating to not only complete a chore but to have done the thing you really didn’t want to do … feels great!
The first step is a doosie and you’re the only one who can take it! Being more productive requires A-C-T-I-O-N; taking the first step in the right direction is half the battle because often times, the paralysis of analysis sets in and the first step is never taken. Something exciting occurs when you do take the initiative to “act”: action creates energy and a feeling of well-being for a positive movement in the right direction. Continuous, productive action = Increased Results!
Social media has become a way of life for many of us and we would be at a complete loss without logging into Facebook, Twitter or Pinterest on a daily, if not hourly basis. Granted, the social media sites can be a great resource for business connections and communication with friends/family members; however, these sites can be both a blessing and a curse to the self-employed entrepreneur. It’s so easy to get caught up with the social aspect of the networking websites and to lose track of time and next thing you know, hours have been wasted on non-productive activity and another day is lost – never to be returned or replaced. If you’re planning to stay active on the social media sites for both business and pleasure then be sure to set time limits for yourself and stick to them.
De-clutter your work space and increase your productivity. Clutter on a desk or in your work (creative) space can be an energy drain and cause you to waste a tremendous amount of time searching for the lost document, note or whatever. A good policy to implement is if you must touch the document more than once, make a file for it so that the next time you require it, it’s easy to find and no time is wasted locating it. If the document isn’t important enough to touch again, throw it away and the same holds true for your email inbox…if at all possible, delete the file or the message so as not to clutter or cause distractions.
Sometimes you have to say no. If your family and friends are accustomed to coming to you when a fundraiser, community or family event is taking place because they “just know” that you’ll organize it, it might be time to begin saying no if taking on the project is going to interfere with your productivity. It’s great to be able to offer your time and expertise, especially when it’s for a good cause, but if the volunteer work is interfering with your ability to create business results of your own, get comfortable with saying no from time to time. It’s not about being mean; it’s about you taking care of you and your life/business first…then everyone else!
The general rule of thumb in business is, “you’re either in politics or you’re in production.” Avoid, at all cost, the temptation to get involved in office politics. Nothing kills productivity for an entire organization quicker than to have everyone bickering, pointing fingers and talking negatively about each other. It goes without saying, politics in the workplace is the kiss of death for efficiency and team synergy.
Continue to focus on your goals and don’t forget to celebrate the small achievements towards them that you accomplish every single day.
Focus! Focus! Focus! You must create a 100% emotional attachment to your goals or as I like to refer to them…your whys. Why do you desire these things? What good will the attainments of your desires do for you and your family, and the world etc? You are required to have a clear vision of yourself achieving all of your goals because only then will your subconscious mind interpret your vision as a tangible. You will have the burning desire to acquire!
Wealth, like happiness, is never attained when sought after directly. It always comes as a by-product of providing a useful service.
~ Henry Ford
Goal setting is crucial to your success for several reasons. You are not in a traditional business; you are in the networking/direct sales or other entrepreneurial business. More than likely, it didn’t cost you one million dollars to establish your business; therefore, your life may not be on the line. You may not be in “make it or break it” mode. This opportunity may have cost you $500-$5000 to get started. Good numbers as far as commitment goes, but not such big numbers as to wipe you out financially should you not succeed.
Having your goals written down is even more crucial in order for you to stay focused and fired up every single day. You should be emotionally attached to achieving your goals with a burning desire backed with faith. These goals and “burning desires” will equate to your why’s becoming a reality much sooner than you may have thought possible.
Something I have found very beneficial in achieving my goals and keeping me focused for the past dozen years is a dream poster. A dream poster is easy and fun to do, plus it creates a visual form of reinforcement of your “why”. Having a visual creates your new reality! A dream poster is a big white or colored poster board (purchase at the $1 store). You will require a pair of scissors and a stack of magazines. You will cut out words, phrases and pictures that represent the goals and dreams that you have. Cut out both material items and items that are symbolic of relationship situations, such as causes or missions you have an interest in supporting, places you desire to travel to, a perfect mate you are going to attract or have found, cut pictures out of that person or a person with the exact qualities you are seeking. Paste the pictures, words and phrases onto your poster board. Get a really big poster board to add more pictures of your goals and keep adding to it as the year progresses.
Get very creative and have some fun with this project. Remember, there are no limits as to what you can achieve when you can “see it already as yours!”
I did my very own dream board for the first time well over fifteen years ago and I’m still enjoying the benefits of that original board and I continue creating my visions to this day!
Desire + Vision + Focused Action = Dreams Becoming Reality
If you require assistance with achieving your goals & dreams – Contact me to discuss personal coaching & mentoring! (888) 212-0759
The goal when inviting someone to a presentation, by phone or in person is to keep it simple! Practice the K.I.S.S. method: “Keep it simple silly!”. Curiosity will cause people to act and logic will cause people to think…so tell them a little in order to create the curiosity and get them interested but not too much as to cause them to think and analyze everything or to make assumptions before they actually attend your presentation.
Often time’s people will “show up” to meet someone rather than to “see” a presentation so…speak in a complimentary and respectful way about your team partner whom will be presenting the business/products with you; this presentation can be by phone/computer or in person. For instance, maybe you don’t live near your team leader however he/she can phone in on a speaker line or skype at the end of your meeting to assist you with the “close” and you will have already created interest and respect for your “expert” previously with the group by edification. The people in the room already trust you however they may not trust your leadership or business expertise yet so it’s up to you to be sure that they “do” respect your team leader and their business experience, expertise, and leadership.
“People show up if you pick them up” so if possible, get a car pool going for everyone coming to your meeting and either you drive or make arrangements for someone else to do it. The goal is to get people into the room and we really don’t care how that happens, whether they drive themselves or you make arrangements for their transportation with a promise of coffee and desert afterwards!
You must also remember that YOU too are an expert. We used to say that if you live 30 minutes away, have a brief case and can give a presentation…you are an expert! It doesn’t matter how much money you have or haven’t made yet with your business…be powerful, act confident and step up to your leadership role!
This is your business and you do know what you are doing! Practice improving yourself daily, follow up with your prospects, continue to be a good student of your business and present you as though you own the biz cause you do!
Sometimes, it certainly feels as though certain people come into our lives just to aggravate the heck out of us, doesn’t it? In those instances, the pressure is on and you may be tempted to blow a fuse however this is not the time to lose your cool – so take a deep breath and mentally count to ten very slowly and then…exhale and precede ahead!
That’s right friends, all of us experience days when we just know the “world is out to get us” or at the very least, specific individuals in the world, seem to be hell bent on tripping us up, at every turn! The good news is this, it happens to the best of us and there are three fool proof steps that I’m going to share with you, in order to get you on the path of happiness and flow again.
1) If you haven’t already come to terms with the fact that some people are just not going to love you, no matter how nice you are, then its time to face that realization right now. It isn’t really important to have everyone love you so long as you love you best!
Yes, I said “you must love you the best” and when you do, truly love and appreciate you, with all of your good and bad qualities because after all, who knows you better than you, only then will you be able to become bullet proof so-to-speak. It won’t really matter whether people adore you, appreciate you or even notice you because it’s your life, you love you and you can accept the fact that not everyone, every where is going to appreciate you the way you do. Self love is the key.
2) Breathe deeply, count to ten slowly and mentally ask yourself this question “five years from now…will I remember this incident and will I care about it, this person or situation? Is this situation here today going to make or break my future happiness?
When you can answer no to those questions above then you realize this incident is trivial and not anything you should dwell on, lose sleep over or even spend one more second of your precious life force on. And you move on, with a determined attitude of happiness and new appreciation because you have your act together, unlike the person attempting to sabotage your lovely day!
3) Say to yourself out loud, if possible or say it mentally if speaking it out loud isn’t appropriate, given the situation “this isn’t about me… I have a choice to make right now and I choose peace, happiness, harmony and love.” That’s correct, right there, right then – you have a decision to make, choose the path of least resistance or choose everything else!
Have you ever heard that “two fools arguing are two fools arguing?” It takes two to tango and two to fight, bicker and create animosity. You simply “choose” not to play the game of fools and continue on with your day.
Smile, keep calm and stay cool even when life/people attempt to get you to jump into the heat of anger or drama remember, we always have a choice and it’s ours to make!